I may be going through my quarter-life crisis. After 10 years of tunnel-vision determination to get into dental school, I'm here… and I'm struggling with how to keep going. I have wanted to be an orthodontist from the moment I sat staring at my new teeth in the passenger's seat visor mirror of my mother's Camry in 2003. Fast forward 11 years and I will compose my application for orthodontic residency in roughly 15 months. I have that long to get interesting again.
I didn't expect this to be an issue for me. Throughout high school and college it was easy to stand out. Be the geeky athlete, the sports-loving chemist, the small-town public-schooled girl at a country club university, the girl with hot pink nails and chalk covered hands, the spear throwing vegetarian, the tall, dark-featured sister. Now I'm a dental student. All of the things that make me interesting are things I used to do–and that's kind of boring.
It's time to decide how I want to reinvent my interesting. How to make myself stand out. Those who interest me are passionate, knowledgeable, and mysterious risk takers, trend setters, relationship builders… It's time for some soul searching.
I feel like the Interwebs could use a bit more real life than edited and filtered life, which is part of why I left Facebook. It's also why I posted this one for you. Of course, if we know each other in real life, there's a 98% chance you've already seen me cry, but still …
Philip Seymour Hoffman died from a yet-to-be-confirmed drug overdose on Sunday. I have been irrationally affected by this. He was my favorite my actor, but I didn't know him personally; this hasn't stopped me from crying almost non-stop for the last two days. This is extreme. I'm really upset–as in I'm heaving and crying while I right this. Now, this, of course, leads me to ask myself, "Why?" And after contemplating it, I think I know. Read more…
Bordeom got the better of depression this morning, so I made muffins. I'm following a few different food blogs these days, and I had all of the ingredients for this one, so that makes it the winner. But I was the real winner because they turned out really, really well. Brian was shocked when I told him they're actually vegan (or cholesterol-free, if you're not into the whole vegan thing). Scarlett and Leo had two each. I hope you like them, too. Read more…
Apparently, I'm really into brackets. Those are brackets, right? Ah, yes. The other ones are braces, or curly brackets. Of course.
There is a new trend among my blogging friends: they don't blog. Of my 30 or so friends (the ones I know in real life) who have a blog, only one is consistently blogging. (Hi, Scherck. Keep up the good work.) Where did you all go? I think this lady nailed it with dead-on-balls accuracy in this post. This dance party isn't so much fun any more. You went home, but I'm hanging out here in the ugly lights. Maybe I should call a cab.
For me, I haven't blogged in a long time because I feel that I can't really be honest about where I am right now. I'm in a bit of dark spot. Yes, I have dealt with depression on and off since I was a teenager, but I'm not sure this is depression. I think it's just circumstantial. My husband is in medical school, and I stay at home with two kids under four. I don't particularly enjoy staying at home. I teach part-time, but it's only a few hours a week. I volunteered to sing with the opera workshop class at OU this semester because I need to get out more. I sing with a church choir on Wednesdays and Sundays. All in all, it's about 10 hours a week. These are generally the 10 happiest hours of my week. Read more…
I should be reviewing 2013 in this post or outlining all of my resolutions for 2014, but all I really want is to do better next year. So there you have it.
Honestly, I'm not a big fan of NYE. For years, it always seemed to end up a total bust, so I've been staying in since 2008. I like to drink champagne and fall asleep before midnight. It's a tradition. Maybe I'll use one of my new owl mugs this year.
I was overwhelmed by the kitsch.
And even though I don't love New Year's Eve, I love all y'all, so I hope you have a good one. Stay clean, stay off the streets, and may all your Christmases be white. Happy 2014.
I was super excited to watch Six by Sondheim (the newest Sondheim tribute/documentary) after I read about it in The New Yorker (I think). I even forced Scarlett to sit on the couch and watch it with me so she could hear Audra sing "Send in the Clowns." It was eye-opening, funny, inspiring, and left me feeling so sad that I'm now having a small anxiety attack. Honestly, WTF? Mostly, I think this is because it left me feeling that I may never accomplish anything in life because his dedication and passion is so big it probably has its own weather system. Also, Leo took a nap at 4:00 PM, which was five hours ago, and he's still asleep, so he'll probably get up in the middle of the night, which means that I'm going to be up in the middle of the night. This is not helping to assuage the knot in my back and chest. Gah.
Good news: I figured out how to post here from my phone. Game changer.
Bad news: Yesterday, I lost one of the earrings that Brian got me for my birthday. I loved those earrings. They were perfect. I am pulverized by this latest thing.
Good news: I love Twin Peaks. Thank you, Interwebs, for Netflix.
Bad news: I don't have a photo for this post, and no one reads the posts without the photos.
Good news: Brian snapped this awesome shot of me earlier this week. Now I have a photo.
Remember Joey's smell-the-fart acting from Friends? Exactly.
Scarlett is going to have a food blog someday because every time I ask her what I should write about she says, "Cookies. A box of candy. Candy. I love candy."
Also, I'm pretty sure I broke my foot. Maybe not literally, but functionally, it's broken. And purple. It was green, now it's purplish-blue. It looks dead. It's probably sprained, but I didn't really want to go to the ER because they were just going to tell me it's sprained and then charge me to have told me something I already knew. Brian assures me that they wouldn't have given me painkillers, which is the only reason I would have gone. You have to have dreams.
The chipped nail polish gives it a little something extra, don't you think?